After my dad died, my relationship with my mom got even worse. I accused her of everything – being distant, not sharing, and now, for separating Dad from me.
Our delicate relationship couldn’t handle anything more. But everything changed when my mom used up all the money saved for my college education.
I had studied a lot, got good grades, and received a partial scholarship. The other costs were meant to be covered by the money my parents had saved carefully for a long time. When I realized it was missing, I was very angry.
“Why did you do that?” I yelled at her. “How did you steal my future from me?”
She didn’t talk much, just stared at me with tired eyes, her face showing signs of stress and sadness. “She said it wasn’t like you think, but I didn’t want to listen to her reasons.” I left angrily, promising myself I would never forgive her.
As time went by, I grew apart from my mother. I was able to pay for my college education by working several jobs and barely making ends meet. I created a life for myself, but I never stopped feeling angry at my mother.
I only discovered the truth after my mom died. While tidying up her home, I found an old diary that was in poor condition hidden in a drawer. I became interested and began to read.
When I read my mother’s diary, I discovered a new aspect of her personality. The records started when I was a very young child. She wrote about what she wanted to achieve, her feelings for my father, and her wishes for our family. But as I kept reading, I discovered why she was so careful with money.
She had a hard time dealing with my father’s secret gambling problem. She had been saving every cent to support us, to pay off debts my father had accumulated without me knowing. She protected me from the difficult truth about our money problems, giving up her own wishes and how I saw her to make sure we had a place to live.
One thing caught my attention: “Today, I had to use up Cara’s money saved for college.” Henry’s debts are affecting us now. I couldn’t inform her. She would never get it. But it was the only option to prevent us from losing the house. I hope she can forgive me in the future.
I felt heartbroken. For many years, I held a grudge against her and said hurtful things, but it turns out it was all because of a falsehood. She had been looking out for me, even if it made me see her as the bad guy.
I was there for a long time, crying and holding the diary close to me. I spent a lot of time disliking her, and now I can’t say sorry or tell her that I now get it.
At that time, I made a promise to remember her forever. I decided to forgive her, just like she had always wanted, and release the anger that had harmed our relationship. I understood how much she cared for me, even though she had her imperfections, and I felt sorry for every unkind word and every time I got angry.
My mom’s journal made me see my life in a new way. It showed me how crucial it is to be understanding and caring, and the negative consequences of making assumptions. It was a lesson I wish I had learned earlier, but one that I will always remember.
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